So, I always see threads on RvB or posts in the bar about people having problems with their relationships. I thought we could use this thread for 2 things: 1) Post the things you've learned from your relationships that you think could help others in theirs (these can be do's or don'ts) and, 2) Post the problems you are having in your relationships for forum members to help with.
Guys try to actually be helpful and not post about your relationship with your hands and the like.
I'll start with this: In a relationship the MOST important thing is communication in ALL aspects of the relationship.
Well I have a small problem. I have a boyfriend, really sweet guy... but my dad refuses to let me go out on dates. He says i'm too young. Is 16 really too young?
Worst part... my boyfriend even called up himself and asked me dad if he could take me on a date... my dad still said no. I mean, if I were my dad nd my daughter's boyfriend had the balls to ask me himself... I think I'd give him a chance.
IMO 16 is old enough. I didn't date till I was 16, mostly because I didn't want to until I could drive myself. But your dad holding you back at 16 seems a bit extreme. Have you ever asked him why he thinks you shouldn't?
My boyfriend and i werent allowed to date for awhile and even after he talked to my dad we werent allowed to date until my parents got to know him. maybe your parents have a bad impression of him and they just need the chance to see what a good guy he is. invite him over to watch a movie or something around the house. my boyfriend and i did this and now my parents love him...so do i, weve been together for a little over 3 years.
In reply to dark54555, #4: dark's got a fair point, i mean, if your old enough to drive, you should be old enough to make that kind of decision for your self, you know. FUCK PARENTS
My parents agree he's a sweet guy, it's just the fact he's a teenage boy. Which makes no sense. Just cause he's a teenage boy doesn't mean he's like, going to rape me.
sorry to hear that ,Tif, that really sux, my parents are the same, having a girl friend(boy friend in your case), doesn't really work out to well if you never see her
You need to prove to your parents that you are mature enough. Do not argue the point. Ask if you can invite him over for dinner some. Tell them you would like for them to get to know them. Tell them that it would also give you a chance to get to know him better. Trust me, after awhile of getting to know them, they will let you go out with him. I would even suggest that you suggest to them that the first few dates be double or group dates with friends. Eventually they will be able to see that you are being grown up and give you a chance.
COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION. That's why I'm never coupled for long. Stay involved at all times, or else... dun dun dun. and wow, I wish staying funny worked for me... :(
Tif: You can just say you're friends and say you're goin out as friends. It's not necessary to tell your parents that you're dating. It's not even necessary to date... I don't see how you can't be friends that care about each other an awful lot.
The only relationship problem I've had is the "it's gettin' old" problem. I got over that and what I learned from it is that mutual respect is crucial in a relationship--treat them as you would treat a friend, NOT as you would treat a guy. There are different levels of respect when it comes to the difference between friends and lovers... and the safest route to take is always the respect between friends.
Well I have to say I wouldn't want to be in your fathers shoes, and as a guy I can completly relate. I have a little sister (also 16) and I fret about her going out. She's out at her boyfriends 'prom' (he's 17-18), and I'm not happy about it. I can step back and not care as much because I'm only the older brother, and I have lesser of a burden than her being my daughter.
I guess the important thing is trust, and this works on all levels and all relationships. I know it sounds like a cliche, but I've thought long and hard into the topic, and I might post more of my pearly wisdoms on the matter at a later date.
To help your current situation you have to convince your dad that he can trust you, to behave appropriately, etc. The last thing you want to do is go behind him and get things worse than anything. It would also be an idea for the guy to make the best effort for your father to trust him (which trust me isn't really going to happen, I don't trust any of my sisters friends).
The other point is that your dad is right. I wouldn't trust a 16yr old guy around my daughter, because I once was a 16yr old guy. I as he, as all guys know... we know what we think, and trust me its not pretty. Even if we are great (as I'm sure most of us are), we are still guys and that never changes. You've mentioned that he comes around and plays the X-Box, well can that not be seen as a date of sorts. It depends on how you want to look at it, if you guys are happy playing x-box, and whatnot (enjoying eachothers company), then it doesn't matter where you guys are. The reason your dad might be freaking out more, is because if you want to go elswhere then it means that you want to do something else. Again this is a trust issue, but I'm sure you go to the cinema, etc. and do group activities. I would become suspicious aswell if my daughter wanted to be alone, with another guy. My mind would instantly jump to sex, 'do not stop go, do not collect $200'. So make your dad trust you.
