Mental Walls are Cracking...And I'm slapping cement in between the crumbling pieces. My walls are coming down and I feel like I'm a failure at life.I wake up in the morning or afternoon, an hour before I have to go to work, drag my ass to the mirror in the bathroom and ask myself every day, "What the fuck are you doing with your life?" I've really become the equivalent to House at work. I have a lot of physical pain that comes and goes while I work at Best Buy, and I've been in the role for so long that I regularly take manager issues as well as get interrupted at least 3 times per sale for questions from other associates,and even Geek Squad agents come out to the floor to consult me on issues or policy. Not to mention I hate people with an undying passion...the general populous are untrained, ignoramic lemmings sucking on the tit of delusion that the world revolves around their little infintesimal cluster of useless cells that they call a brain...it makes me sick the idiocy and astonishment that I hear daily that businesses are actually trying to make money and rape the ever loving shit out of the consumer's wallets... Every day I walk in that place I want to put a bullet into my brain. I've thought of leaving...but job prospects here in the good old Cincishitty are horrifyingly bad. And I apologize about all the work journals but all I've been doing is eating, sleeping, working, surfing online...because that's all I have time for...I've also thought about going back to school for an associates or getting my bachelor's degree at an accelerated college...because I don't have time for school. Only things keeping me sane right now, is that Im cleaning my room. So far I've thrown away 27 bags of trash, donated 12 boxes of books, and given 2 boxes/bags of clothes to my best friend cause he wanted/needed them. Ale8 is as always keeping me from insanity...as well as this community and of course, music... What was funny, is that people that call me a friend have gone out of their way to ridicule me in ways that I was probably too touchy about but in all honesty, they should have known that stupid shit like that would piss me off because they've known me for years. I refuse to name names in the incident, even though it would be righteously liberating, but I really don't feel like having stupid drama continue its vicious cycle rape its way around the internet once again... tl;dr: All work and no play make Spam go crazy... |
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