Im a Condom...This is extremely hard for me to talk about...so much so that I've been thinking about this for a few months.Its also the reason why I havent updated with ANYTHING over the past few weeks. I dont know if I've been acting oddly or not...but I've been hurting for quite some time. The reason I say "Im a Condom" is that Im used until I break or someone's done with me, then Im tossed aside like the unwanted hidden evidence that a criminal prays that the police doesnt find. I really don't want to talk about the exact situation that exacerbates my mental opinion of myself, but lets just say this weekend has really opened my eyes as to how my friends actually see me. I have the bruises and lack of cash to prove it. Otherwise I've been working almost nonstop with the exception of this weekend. It hasnt bothered me as much this week...so I really dont give a fuck. There's a lot of other stuff going on in my head...mostly self deprecating...I feel like Im regressing back to my little lonely ball of fail that I was in circa 2004. Now Im not suicidal or going to attempt anything stupid...but I cant help but think that Im just like a bit part actor that really easily wouldnt be missed from a series if the budget got cut down, especially when Im with "friends." |
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