Insert Generic Story Title HereIt’s a Paper about Nothing (Why Are You Still Reading This?)Mitch A I was told I could write a story about anything. Therefore, I’m going to write a story about nothing. No, I’m not going to plagiarize from Seinfeld, which is a show about nothing. What is nothing? How do we accomplish doing nothing if we are always doing something? Is there such a thing as total silence? These are the questions that haunt me. What is nothing? Well, simply put, nothing is anything that you don’t want it to be. To turn something into nothing is simply to lose it. But how does one lose it? It could be as simple as misplacing an object, or as complicated as betraying someone’s trust. For instance, let’s say that you trusted me to keep your phone number a secret. Instead, I put your phone number on the internet. The trust that you have with me goes from everything to nothing, or at least very little. But how can you measure trust? With a number? No, no. In my world, there are three shades of trust: I can trust you with anything, I can trust you with something, or nothing at all. Getting back to the subject at hand, how do we do nothing, even though on a day to day basis, we are always doing something? When you talk to someone on the phone and ask, “Hey, what are you doing?” and they reply “Nothing”, that just doesn’t make sense. You are always doing something, you can’t be doing nothing. You’re talking on the phone to me! You’re breathing! You’re probably reading something or watching TV as you talk on the phone to me! There is no such thing as doing absolute nothing! Not even being dead counts as nothing! Why? Because you’re dead! Okay, angry rants aside; there is no such thing as total silence. You know how people say something alone the lines of “It was so silent, I could hear a pin drop”? Well, that’s not total silence. Our body projects some form of sound with or without us knowing. This could be our heart rate, our breathing, or our ears making the type of noise that you would get if you held a seashell, or your cupped hand, up to said ear. Even deaf people here something, because even though their eardrums are blown, they can still probably hear a little ringing noise, or at least their own heartbeat. Well, with those topics out of my system, where can I go from here? Can I keep this paper going, like Seinfeld? Yes, I could. But I don’t feel like tormenting you by writing more meaningless paragraphs about nothing. So next time that you find yourself alone, doing what you believe is nothing, ask yourself: Am I really doing nothing, or am I really doing something? |
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