December 4th, 2005

I wrote these once before, but they were lost during the great burn. So I am rewriting them here. I'm sure they'll be completely different than last time, but it happens. Any suggestions are welcome.

We're all tired of breaking in newbs the hard way. It's too much time and effort. So I am writing these rules. Now when a newb comes in we can point him here. Then, if he still refuses to follow them we can just neg him or something.

1. We are on topic. If you don't think so then it is more your problem than it is ours, and we don't want to hear about it.

2. We may stray from Stargate for a while, but we always come back to it before too long. Just calm the fuck down.

3. If you want to change the topic of discussion, presumably to something more directly related to Stargate, there are acceptable ways of doing it.
DO NOT: say, "Hey, let's get on topic" or "Why don't we actually talk about Stargate?" or anything of that nature. If you look at rules 1 and 2 you will notice that that sort of statement is not going to go over well. You will be hated and ridiculed by everyone.
DO: bring up something specific to change the topic to. Just saying. "Let's talk about Stargate." will not only make everyone hate you, but it will most certainly not get the topic changed. If you want to talk about something new you have to be specific, such as, "Hey, what did you guys think of [insert episode name]?" If you bring something up like that and are cool about it the odds are you can direct the conversation in the way that you want. We all love Stargate and will talk about it at the drop of a hat, if you're not an ass about it.
DO NOT: complain if your attempt to redirect the conversation doesn't work. Ok, so you listened to the rules and tried to redirect the conversation. You got a couple of responses, but then everyone went back to talking about what they were talking about before. Now, I know you will be tempted to revert back to "You guys are never on topic! Why don't we talk about Stargate?" but this is exactly what you must not do. Just try again later, or better yet,
DO: get involved in whatever conversation is going on at the moment. If you do not feel the need to constantly direct the conversation in the way you think it should go you will get along much better. If you come in, join whatever conversation is already going on. People will like you more, and you will enjoy yourself more. If you don't like the topic at hand wait around. We're never talking about the same thing for very long.

4. Yes, Window of Opportunity (or "that time-loop episode") is our favorite episode too. You will not endear yourself to anyone by bringing it up for the millionth time.

5. You do not know more about/own more Stargate than the other people in this thread. If you come in all high and mighty, trying to impress us with your Stargate knowledge or your Stargate DVD collection, or whatever you will be shot off that high horse real quick.

6. Do not come in and immediately begin insulting the thread regulars. Most of us have been around a long time, and we usually stick together. The exception is if it is the good-natured insulting present in every predominately male community.

7. Don't be an asshole. (eg. being rude to people, hitting on all the girls, yes there are girls, etc.) We don't take kindly to it. We already have our resident asshole. His name is super_soaker.

8. Don't be a moron. If you are going to say something, say something intelligent. Here is a quick set of things to do to not be a moron:
A. No 133t 5p34k!
B. Watch your spelling. The occasional typo is understandable, but if you are constantly spelling everything wrong we will call you on it, and you will be ridiculed for your stupidity.
C. Check at least the other posts on the last page to see if what you are going to say has been said.
D. Do not double post the exact same thing if you can help it, and do not multi-post consistantly. Think before you post and put all of the things you want to say into one.

9. NO WAFFLES! You have been warned. (BTW, asking what this rule means in the thread itself constitutes a violation of this rule. Just do not talk about waffles in any way, shape, form, or fashion.)

10. For the first few days after a new episode comes out, use spoiler space when talking about it. If you don't know what that means, ask, and people will be happy to help you out. If you're a sponsor also putting it in white text would be appropriate. Some people do not want to read it. So at least make it so they won't read it accidentally. This applies double for information about upcoming episodes. - Courtesy of Shura

11. If you have any questions about what happened in whatever episode, Gateworld has all the answers you could ever want. - Courtesy of Cumbo

12. You do not decide when you are no longer a noob in our community. We decide when you are no longer a noob in our community. - Courtesy of Nix

13. Just be cool, and you will get along fine. We may seem pretty intimidating, but we're a friendly group (well, friendly enough) if you are friendly first.

Once again, any suggestions or additions from thread regulars are welcome.