Timing is every thing.Today while I was sitting in a cafe eating breakfast a very random set of events happened.I can safely say this is completely random as not even I, would think of this story in a fictional view. There I was sitting down eating breakfast, "grilled cheese and hash browns". In my seat which faces the door to the cafe type environment. A very odd place, it's like a coffee house with round tables and comfortable seats, espresso and canadian coffee, tea, and the like are all served. But so are chicken wings, lasagne, rice, and assorted breakfast-esk menu items. You could conceivably sit down and read ala-Starbucks except for the jukebox which continuously plays that song from the hangover where Mike Tyson decked that guy. You know the one. And the drunks at the bar, (and I mean piss drunk, at two pm) are trying to sing along. So any ways there I am eating breakfast at two pm, yes I know.  When in comes a very lawyer-esk lady, she is in her late twenties early thirties. Wearing a skirt and jacket looking somewhat to formal for the chaotic little cafe. She taps the glass unceasingly until she gets the exact, what ever she wants. Then proceeds to tap her foot at the cash as if she had been waiting. When she finally decides to make her exit I am now watching her as I face the door and am somewhat annoyed. The music has died out and I note this lady is still walking to some beat in her head. I will even concede that she had some level of grace to her steps. But not two steps from the door she sneezes. And not a petite "achoo" I'm talking about a spit canon which makes her whole body lurch forward. It was a kick ass sneeze and the subsequent release (and I am only guessing here) angel of her body caused her to also release another very loud bodily function. ...she tooted. Out of her butt, rather loudly. and the whole cafe heard it. There was a split second there where you could actually feel the lady trying to calculate her options... but before any thought could surface, two small words rang out in the silence, "heh, heh" these two words might as well have been blared out of the juke box because the entire populace of the cafe heard them and new there source. Me. The ladies head snapped around and I swear I haven't seen a look of death that potent since high school. It was a moment of complete humanisation. Neither her nor I at that moment had any delusional ideals of immortality, no ideas of stardom or, historical significance flashed threw our minds. She had just farted and I had giggled, and now here we were striped of any social guide lines to tell us the next move. I wanted to hug her, in all truth. As I am used to this type of social chaos and she clearly wasn't. But she simply turned and walked away not any slower or faster then she would have normally in my humble estimates which was perhaps the correct thing to do. I hope she can laugh about this later as I am doing so at this very moment.  www.youtube.com/watch?v=Riw7j9b8fM8 LOL in the AIR tonight! That's priceless...  LINKED MEDIA
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